To be humble

Because of the weakness which is in me,
according to the flesh, i would excuse myself.
For the things which
some men
esteem to be of great worth, both
to the body
and soul, others set at feet.
Even God do men trample under
their feet; I say trample under their feet but i would
speak in other words
-they set him at naught and hearken
not to the voice of his counsels.
(1nephi 19:6&7)

To simplify

The most basic natural instinct we have is to survive. And that's one thing that's become more and more clear to me as i live : life takes turns, becomes difficult and all i can think about it getting through.

Some days lifes blows hit me like. ...i'd imagine a car hits an animal in the middle of the road. Unavoidable and....painful?
But even being the animal, all you can do is peel yourself off the side of the road and keep moving. Even if you are limping.

By following your basic instincts. Wake up, eat, sleep, work, church, church, church, pray, pray, pray.
Find a crutch, cling to that. And when all else fails, take a nap.

To be found

I guess the sky was always naturally that color blue, today must have been the first day i looked up. But i could swear it was just yesterday i layed in the grass and watched it fade from gray to black before my eyes. Or maybe that was your eyes. And they way they looked at me almost overpoweringly. To where i was lost. Fading the seconds to feel like minutes, the minutes to feel like hours. i felt nothing but your light body feeling like dead weight, and me almost feeling hidden beneath natural warmth. I looked behind you and saw the blue sky fading to a white. Realizing the it was the moon's natural light, that it was no longer the afternoon.
*

I feel so calm right now that i forgot what i was going to even write.....um.
Someone asked me who i was today and i wasn't sure exactly how to respond. It led me to make a mental note of everything i was sure of about myself. This is what i came up with..

I'm Gina.
I like when people tell me random useless facts that i'll probably never use.
I like matching my moods with colors.
I like writing
I prefer walking over driving
I like cleaning when i'm stressed out.
I like hard labor work

I like gymnastics..I miss gymnastics.
I'm naturally pigeon toed.
I think that even at my unhappiest, i'm still a lot happier than the average person.
I'd post pictures in here...but i never know what to put. haha!

Does that sound right?

Morals

Seems to just be the foundation of a decent person. And respectable person if that's not obvious.

I can't imagine how anyone could think Heavenly Father isn't real when my entire life has been a complete miracle in itself. I'm not exaggerating.

Each Side!

I like thinking there's a balance in all things. And regardless of if i'm right or wrong it brings me comfort.

For example, the earth has the most wicked people in the universe, as well as some of the most righteous. Every horrible thing that happens to us, must be paving the area for something incredible. Balance in all things. There must always be a balance.

However, i'm beginning to learn this idea is completely flawed. For if there were a balance in wickedness and righteousness, Heavenly Father would never be strong enough to overpower satan. And if everything i know about everything in life is true - God always wins. He will always reign. Therefore, what i'm blessed with will always be so much greater than what i lack. I will always be more stronger than i am weak. I will always have more comfort than distress, whether i realize it or not. Because there is always more good, and good comes from Heavenly Father.

It's all in what you focus on.

Japan

My heart breaks for them.

Constant prayer for them but the Lord will always take care of His disciples. Every member and missionary has been safe and accounted for in Japan, through this tragedy.

"Natural catastrophes seem to be coming more often than ever in recent world history. In the last ten years, Hurricane Katrina turned lives upside down in New Orleans, an earthquake essentially destroyed Haiti and took over 300,000 lives, Indonesia saw nearly a quarter of a million die as a result of a devastating tsunami, a cyclone took just under 150,000 lives in Myanmar in 2008, and now an earthquake and tsunami has hit Japan."

The end is near. Where do you stand?

'All i have is faith in God'

Not my words. I wish i could say it's all i have and all i need, but i don't think i've reached that point yet. At least i'm honest.

While i was in Vegas i came across a homeless man with a sign that read "All i have is faith in God", sitting against a wall praying. I've never been filled with so much empathy in my life. If following the standards God has given for you, you shouldn't reach that low of a point- right? I cannot fathom the feeling that man must have felt, realizing he had nothing and writing that sign. Did he give everything he had to the Lord? Is that why he had nothing? How can one even reach that point? The Lord wants us to be happy. He's given us the tools to reach that point. As we are meant to be mindful of each other, and help one another out, that is what He will do for us. We help others, He helps us. This may not be the exact, perfect formula He has in mind but it brings me comfort. What's even more incredible is His willingness to help us, though we are undeserving. He knows each one of us - even the homeless man holding the sign. Even the homeless man out of his mind from drugs. And wants each one of us to turn to Him. Such small acts will mold such great blessings that He wants to give us! He's just waiting to be bound. I can't understand why others wouldn't want these things. After seeing what i've seen, i'm sure He cries for us. 

"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."

Matthew 7:21

Just try your best. I don't want to make it there without you. We are all sinners, saved in His grace - not in our sins.

My Lord, i cry with You.