Sunday, May 2, 2010

Fireside - M.Russell Ballard

I've never felt the spirit inside of every fiber of my body. i sat there hungry, yet for the time i was there - he made me full. Everything overwhelmed me to my core... How could th lord not be real? How could this not be true. The older i get, the more i learn, i still seem to find myself left in awe simpley from words.

How could i project this on the outside? How much i feel on the inside. I see these righteous men and they glow in the gospel. Do i glow? Am i humble..enough.. period? Am i as recessive to the words as i should be? Am i as lowly in heart and meek in my spirit as the Lord would like?

The Gospel helps me in every aspect of my life, and i hope that i remember, ponder, understand and take into consideration all of this for the rest of my life:
It gives me self confidence but not conceitedness.
It makes me humble but not weak.
Brings me comfort when i am anxious,
gives direction when i am lost.
In it i find hope when i can't see the light. is the light.
It brings me joy, to reflect and bring others joy.
It reminds me i am the dirt of the earth. which i should remember, for the Lord is the sun - putting it lightly. I am nothing compared to him.. hence my humility. what i strive for anyway.

I told Lia tonight that i want to stop saying 'i think' and start saying 'i know'. I don't care what anyone 'thinks' i want to know what they know. I want them to know what i know.

Did tonight happen? Did i sit 2 feet from an apostle of the Lord? Did i see him nearly cry from being afraid he wasn't giving the Lord proper justice for what he deserves?
Am i giving the Lord what he deserves? I'll spend the rest of my life trying to show him i'm willing.
I feel like standing in the center of a field and screaming at the top of my lungs.
I feel like standing in the middle of the crowd and screaming that the Gospel is true.
I feel like standing at a podium and talking to anyone willing to listen..and say that the Gospel is true. That God and Jesus Christ live. That they exist and watch over each one of us... that they're all that matter.
and i love them so much... I love them so so much.
The spirit is testifying this all to me. Its all true.
The end is near, and Lord i am ready.

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